The First Green Thumb Secret to Rewarding Relationships

Great gardeners have an intuitive sense about how to nurture what they plant. Like a gardener with a green thumb, you, too, have strong intuitions. The question is whether or not you notice them -- and if and when you do -- whether or not you let them guide you.

An intuition is a knowing that goes beyond reason and logic. It is a gift from your heart and Soul – a kind of radar that signals and guides you, if your receiver is on and you are tuned into what you sense.

Your intuitive radar was operating at full blast when you first felt deeply attracted to your partner. Or it will be when next you encounter someone who sets your inner bells chiming. What you experience on occasions like these is chemistry powerful enough to insure that you get to know the person whose presence sets your senses soaring. You simply “know” that this is someone who is special for you.

Similar knowings, though less intense, happen frequently. Sometimes you feel a gentle prompting. Other times you have much stronger urges. Noticing what you sense awakens your consciousness so you can honor your intuitions. Waking-up your heart-centered consciousness is the first secret to developing a green thumb with relationships.

Heart-centered consciousness transforms you and your relationships. It’s as simple to access as taking three deep breaths, closing your eyes for a few moments, and putting your hand over your heart chakra in the center of your chest. As you breathe, relax, and let go of whatever is happening around you, you feel calm and peace coming over you. In this peaceful place, you are able to see yourself and others from a loving rather than fearful point of view. You also are open to intuitive knowing and spiritual guidance.

Heart-centered consciousness is like a power switch that turns on the light within you and allows you to connect with your inner resources. Centering yourself in the loving energy of your heart flips on the light that is your essence. It dispels whatever darkness might be threatening you, and connects you with your higher resources.

These resources include your inner observer, a loving, non-judging witness who watches over you. You also access your intuitive Soul level guidance system which you might think of as your spirit guides. They are always present and available, but they serve you best when your inner light is on and you are aware of their presence and tuned into their observations and insight. Your inner observer simply notices your choices without judging you for what you choose, resisting your choices, or trying to change them. Your spirit guides jog your memory, give you flashes of insight, intuition, and knowing, and offer guidance and direction when you are open to their wisdom and perspective.

Your Inner Observer

Centering yourself is like activating the sound system in your car. The system is always present and available, but you don’t hear it until you push the button that turns it on. Once you do, you have lots of listening choices. There are a multitude of radio stations as well as your CD player. Sometimes you choose popular music or jazz. On other occasions you seek different styles. You may be in the mood for talk programming and search until you find a conversation that intrigues, enrages, or inspires you. Or classical music may be exactly right for soothing your spirits. What you select affects you. If you like what you hear, you’ll probably keep listening. If you don’t, you can change the station, give yourself the choice of peaceful silence, or keep listening and escalate your angst.

Your inner observer is like a quiet companion on a long car ride. Its presence and observations empower you to recognize your choices and their effects– on yourself and on other people. Your inner observer helps you see how, moment by moment, you decide what to notice, what to listen to, and what not to register. It shows you how you create what you think and the interpretations you make about yourself, your experiences, and other people. It notices how your thoughts and interpretations determine what you feel and how you behave. It gives you clear, play by play awareness of you.

Your inner observer allows you to notice the rich variety of possibilities you possess for enjoying life. It sees you tuning into your physical senses, experiencing the joy of smelling flowers, feeling the air that surrounds you, embracing your breathing, really tasting what you eat, and appreciating the soothing comfort of touching someone you love.

It watches as you allow your feelings and make them your ally. Its observations help you recognize how your emotions assist you through difficult times, alert you to dangers and intrusions, fill you with joy, and help you spill tears of release when you must let go of people you love.

Your inner observer helps you become the master of your mind rather than its victim. Gradually you take command of your mind as your inner observer notices how you think and interpret your experiences. It alerts you when you allow fearful thinking to gain a foothold with scary interpretations and predictions about your life and relationships.

Your Spirit Guides

With your loving inner observer as your ally, you also are open to the wisdom of your heart and Soul expressed through your spirit guides. They help you see how, in the long run, overwhelmingly difficult events and challenging experiences can mark significant positive turning points in your life – if you fully embrace them. Your spirit guides help you find the gifts of growth and healing that are yours when you come to grips with the tough times in life.

They teach you that you can ask for help from angels, Spirit guides, and God when you feel lost and frightened. They call your attention to thousands of everyday miracles that assure you of the very real assistance you receive from unseen dimensions of reality that lie beyond the realm of the physical. Gradually you learn to trust the comfort and support that are consistently available for you from this much larger world of Spirit. Your logical mind may protest, clinging to the ego-centered belief that reality consists of only what can be touched, measured, and defined. Heart-centered consciousness knows that what may defy physical logic is nevertheless distinctly real.

A Potent Partnership

With your loving inner observer and your spiritual guides as your partners, you notice how the words you say and the behaviors you choose affect your relationships. You tune in and imagine how other people feel, living or working in connection with you.

You may begin asking yourself important questions. Am I creating closeness and cooperation or distance and competitive advantage? Am I listening and registering what others say or focusing on what I want to say in reaction to them? Do I care about how other people see situations differently from me? Or do I rush in to try to convince them that mine is the only true and correct perspective? Do I recognize how connected I am with other people and with all of life or do I feel isolated, suspicious, and overly cautious? Am I tuned into the energy of love or caught up in the painful contagion of fear? Am I open to my spirit guides? Can I tune into my loving inner observer without judging myself for what it helps me notice?

Judging ourselves and others for the choices we make creates pain or pride – depending upon the negative or positive tone of our judgments. Neither is useful, lasting, or valuable.

Letting go of the persistent temptation to judge what we see heals us and creates miracles in our relationships. Being conscious - without presuming to know what is “right” or “best” for others - allows us to connect with them as our peers and fellow travelers through life. It frees us to love without climbing on and off pedestals that declare some of us momentarily superior.

The next time you find yourself sinking into a mire of ugly thoughts, feelings, and possible behavior, remember to remember that there is something you can do to help yourself and the situation at hand. Close your eyes, breathe, put your hand on your heart, and let go of all but the present moment.

As you get connected with yourself through your heart center and stay there for a few minutes, you’ll notice new choices that are available to you. This will assist you in seeing your situation and other people differently. You may look for what you like and appreciate rather than what you resent and fear. You may realize that you are beginning to feel peaceful and powerful rather than agitated and vulnerable. You’ll be able to see from a new perspective that reminds you that nothing earth shattering is happening here. You can let it go. You can accept “what is.” You can allow words you hear coming from other people to be about them, not you, even if they are blaming, criticizing, or attacking you.

It helps to keep your hand over your heart, as a constant reminder that staying centered is the key to relating to your partner, your children, your parents, or your boss and co-workers. Heart-centered consciousness is your bridge to genuine connection with others from a loving, enlightened place. It overrides fear so that dark energy can’t short circuit your best intentions, dim your inner light, and throw you into primitive fight, flee, or freeze reactivity.

Heart centered consciousness and connection with your inner observer and spirit guides are vital to growing and nurturing your relationship garden. Water it frequently with loving thoughts and observations, shine the light of your heart on the flowers you are growing, and keep it weeded of fearful criticism, judgments, attacks, and projections of needless fears onto the people you love. The harvest you’ll reap will be bountiful and nourishing – worth every bit of the effort you expend developing your green thumb for rewarding relationships.